This Psalm of despair, referred to by Jesus from the Cross, is also a Psalm of hope and faith. The history of God's faithfulness with his people Israel is an ongoing reminder that we can trust him to deliver us. While in our human reckoning of time God's answer may be slow in coming, his track record in history reminds us that he will answer, deliver, and bless his people in his time. In our worst of nightmares, we can be reminded that God is faithful and is attentive to our cries of despair, lament, grief, agony, and fear.
Day 22 of the Blessed Coptic Month of Tubah, may God make it always received, year after year, with reassurance and tranquility, while our sins after forgiven by the tender mercies of our God my fathers and brothers.
Amen.
The Twenty-Second Day of the Blessed Month of Tubah
Departure of St.Anthony the Great (Antonius)
On this day, of the year 355 A.D., St. Anthony the Great, the star of the wilderness, and the father of all monks, departed. This righteous man was born in the year 251 A.D. in the city of Qimn El-Arouse, to rich parents who loved the church and the poor. They raised him up in fear of the Lord. When he was twenty years old, his parents departed, and he had to take care of his sister. Once, he entered the church and heard the words of the Lord Christ in the Gospel, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven; and come, follow Me." (Matthew 19:21) He returned to his house, decided to fulfill this commandment and considered it directed to him personally. He gave his wealth to the poor and needy, and he took his sister and placed her with some virgins. At that time, monasticism had not yet been established. All those who wanted to live a solitary life went and lived on the outskirts of the city. This was what St. Anthony did as he dwelt alone, worshipping and living an ascetic life.
The devil fought him there by afflicting him with boredom, laziness, and the phantoms of women. He overcame the devil's snares by the power of the Lord Christ. After that, he went to one of the tombs, and he resided therein and closed the door on himself. Some of his friends used to bring him food. When the devil perceived his ascetic life and his intense worship, he was envious of him, and he beat him mercilessly, then left him unconscious. When his friends came to visit him and found him in this condition, they carried him to the church. After he somewhat recovered, he went back to the same place. The devil again resumed his war against St. Antonius, only this time the phantoms were in the form of wild beasts, wolves, lions, snakes and scorpions. They appeared as if they were about to attack him or cut him into pieces. But the saint would laugh at them scornfully and say, "If any of you have any authority over me, only one would have been sufficient to fight me." At his saying this, they disappeared as though in smoke, for God gave him the victory over the devils. He was always singing this psalm, "Let God arise, let His enemies be scattered; let those also who hate Him flee before Him." (Psalm 68:1)
St. Anthony used to prepare a quantity of bread that would sustain him for six months. He did not allow anyone to enter his cell, and whoever came to him, stood outside and listened to his advice. He continued in this condition of solitary worship for 20 years. Then by God's command, he went to El-Fayyoum and confirmed the brethren there in the faith, then returned to his monastery. During the time of persecution, he longed to become a martyr. He left his monastery and went to Alexandria. He visited those who were imprisoned for the sake of Christ and comforted them. When the Governor saw that he was confessing the Lord Christ publicly, not caring what might happen to him, he ordered him not to show up in the city. However, the saint did not heed his threats. He faced him and argued with him in order that he might arouse his anger so that he might be tortured and martyred. But God preserved him all along, according to His will, for the benefit of many, and so the Governor left him alone. Then the saint went back to his monastery according to God's will, and many came to visit him and to hear his teachings. He saw that these visits kept him away from his worship. As a result, he went far away to the eastern desert. He travelled with some bedouins to the inner wilderness for three days, until he found a spring of water and some palm trees, and then he chose to settle there. On this spot now stands the monastery of St. Anthony the Great. The bedouins came to him with bread, and the Lord drove away all the wild beasts from this place, for his sake.
On occasions, he would go to the monastery on the outskirts of the desert by the Nile to visit the brethren, then return to his inner monastery. His fame spread abroad and it reached Emperor Constantine. The Emperor wrote to him, offering him praise and asked him to pray for him. The brethren were pleased with the Emperor's letter, but St. Anthony did not pay any attention to it, and he said to them, "The books of God, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, commands us everyday, but we do not heed what they tell us, and we turn our backs on them." Under the persistence of the brethren who told him, "Emperor Constantine loves the church," he accepted to write him a letter blessing him, and praying for the peace and safety of the empire and the church. One day, he was bored, and he heard a voice telling him, "Go out and see." He went out and saw an angel who wore a girdle with a cross, one resembling the holy Eskiem, and on his head was a head cover (Kolansowa). He was sitting while braiding palm leaves, then he stood up to pray, and again he sat to weave. A voice came to him saying, "Anthony, do this and you will rest." Henceforth, he started to wear this tunic that he saw, and began to weave palm leaves, and never got bored again.
St. Anthony prophesied about the persecution that was about to happen to the church and the control of the heretics over it, the church victory and its return to its formal glory, and the end of the age. When St. Macarius visited St. Anthony, St. Anthony clothed him with the monk's garb, and St. Anthony foretold him what would be of him. When the day of the departure of St. Paul, the first hermit in the desert, drew near, St. Anthony went to him. St. Anthony buried St. Paul the hermit after he had clothed him in a tunic which was a present from St. Athanasius the Apostolic, 20th Pope of Alexandria. When St. Anthony felt that the day of his departure had approached, he commanded his disciple to hide his body and to give his staff to St. Macarius, and to give one sheepskin cloak to St.Athanasius and the other sheepskin cloak to Anba Serapion, his disciple. He stretched himself on the ground and gave up his spirit. The angels and the saints took his spirit and carried it to the place of perpetual rest. This saint lived for 105 years, struggling in the way of holiness and purity.
May His prayers be with us and Glory be to our God forever. Amen.
Vespers
Vespers Psalm
From the Psalms of our teacher David the prophet.
May his blessings be with us all.
Psalms 78 : 20,23
Chapter 78
| 20 | Behold, He struck the rock, So that the waters gushed out, And the streams overflowed. Can He give bread also? Can He provide meat for His people?|" |
| 23 | Yet He had commanded the clouds above, And opened the doors of heaven, |
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Our Lord God, Savior, and King of us all, Jesus Christ, the Living Son of God to whom be glory forever.
Amen.
Vespers Gospel
Stand in the fear of God and listen to the Holy Gospel.
A reading from the Gospel according to our teacher Saint John the Evangelist.
May His Blessings be with us all.
John 5 : 31 - 46
Chapter 5
| 31 | "If I bear witness of Myself, My witness is not true. |
| 32 | There is another who bears witness of Me, and I know that the witness which He witnesses of Me is true. |
| 33 | You have sent to John, and he has borne witness to the truth. |
| 34 | Yet I do not receive testimony from man, but I say these things that you may be saved. |
| 35 | He was the burning and shining lamp, and you were willing for a time to rejoice in his light. |
| 36 | But I have a greater witness than John's; for the works which the Father has given Me to finish--the very works that I do--bear witness of Me, that the Father has sent Me. |
| 37 | And the Father Himself, who sent Me, has testified of Me. You have neither heard His voice at any time, nor seen His form. |
| 38 | But you do not have His word abiding in you, because whom He sent, Him you do not believe. |
| 39 | You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. |
| 40 | But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life. |
| 41 | "I do not receive honor from men. |
| 42 | But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you. |
| 43 | I have come in My Father's name, and you do not receive Me; if another comes in his own name, him you will receive. |
| 44 | How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God? |
| 45 | Do not think that I shall accuse you to the Father; there is one who accuses you--Moses, in whom you trust. |
| 46 | For if you believed Moses, you would believe Me; for he wrote about Me. |
And Glory be to God forever.
Matins
Matins Psalm
From the Psalms of our teacher David the prophet.
May his blessings be with us all.
Psalms 80 : 7,18
Chapter 80
| 7 | Restore us, O God of hosts; Cause Your face to shine, And we shall be saved! |
| 18 | Then we will not turn back from You; Revive us, and we will call upon Your name. |
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Our Lord God, Savior, and King of us all, Jesus Christ, the Living Son of God to whom be glory forever.
Amen.
Matins Gospel
Stand in the fear of God and listen to the Holy Gospel.
A reading from the Gospel according to our teacher Saint John the Evangelist.
May His Blessings be with us all.
John 6 : 47 - 58
Chapter 6
| 47 | Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life. |
| 48 | I am the bread of life. |
| 49 | Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and are dead. |
| 50 | This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that one may eat of it and not die. |
| 51 | I am the living bread which came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh, which I shall give for the life of the world." |
| 52 | The Jews therefore quarreled among themselves, saying, "How can this Man give us His flesh to eat?" |
| 53 | Then Jesus said to them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you. |
| 54 | Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. |
| 55 | For My flesh is food indeed, and My blood is drink indeed. |
| 56 | He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him. |
| 57 | As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on Me will live because of Me. |
| 58 | This is the bread which came down from heaven--not as your fathers ate the manna, and are dead. He who eats this bread will live forever." |
And Glory be to God forever.
Liturgy Gospel
Paulines Epistle
Paul, the servant of our Lord Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, appointed to the Gospel of God.
A reading from the Epistle of our teacher Paul to the Romans .
May his blessings be upon us.
Amen.
Romans 11 : 13 - 36
Chapter 11
| 13 | For I speak to you Gentiles; inasmuch as I am an apostle to the Gentiles, I magnify my ministry, |
| 14 | if by any means I may provoke to jealousy those who are my flesh and save some of them. |
| 15 | For if their being cast away is the reconciling of the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead? |
| 16 | For if the firstfruit is holy, the lump is also holy; and if the root is holy, so are the branches. |
| 17 | And if some of the branches were broken off, and you, being a wild olive tree, were grafted in among them, and with them became a partaker of the root and fatness of the olive tree, |
| 18 | do not boast against the branches. But if you do boast, remember that you do not support the root, but the root supports you. |
| 19 | You will say then, "Branches were broken off that I might be grafted in." |
| 20 | Well said. Because of unbelief they were broken off, and you stand by faith. Do not be haughty, but fear. |
| 21 | For if God did not spare the natural branches, He may not spare you either. |
| 22 | Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God: on those who fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in His goodness. Otherwise you also will be cut off. |
| 23 | And they also, if they do not continue in unbelief, will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again. |
| 24 | For if you were cut out of the olive tree which is wild by nature, and were grafted contrary to nature into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, who are natural branches, be grafted into their own olive tree? |
| 25 | For I do not desire, brethren, that you should be ignorant of this mystery, lest you should be wise in your own opinion, that blindness in part has happened to Israel until the fullness of the Gentiles has come in. |
| 26 | And so all Israel will be saved, as it is written: "The Deliverer will come out of Zion, And He will turn away ungodliness from Jacob; |
| 27 | For this is My covenant with them, When I take away their sins." |
| 28 | Concerning the gospel they are enemies for your sake, but concerning the election they are beloved for the sake of the fathers. |
| 29 | For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. |
| 30 | For as you were once disobedient to God, yet have now obtained mercy through their disobedience, |
| 31 | even so these also have now been disobedient, that through the mercy shown you they also may obtain mercy. |
| 32 | For God has committed them all to disobedience, that He might have mercy on all. |
| 33 | Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out! |
| 34 | "For who has known the mind of the LORD? Or who has become His counselor?" |
| 35 | "Or who has first given to Him And it shall be repaid to him?" |
| 36 | For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen. |
The grace of God the Father be with you all.
Amen.
Catholic Epistle
A Reading from Epistle 1 of St. John .
May his blessing be upon us.
Amen.
1 John 5 : 9 - 21
Chapter 5
| 9 | If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater; for this is the witness of God which He has testified of His Son. |
| 10 | He who believes in the Son of God has the witness in himself; he who does not believe God has made Him a liar, because he has not believed the testimony that God has given of His Son. |
| 11 | And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. |
| 12 | He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. |
| 13 | These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God. |
| 14 | Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. |
| 15 | And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. |
| 16 | If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life for those who commit sin not leading to death. There is sin leading to death. I do not say that he should pray about that. |
| 17 | All unrighteousness is sin, and there is sin not leading to death. |
| 18 | We know that whoever is born of God does not sin; but he who has been born of God keeps himself, and the wicked one does not touch him. |
| 19 | We know that we are of God, and the whole world lies under the sway of the wicked one. |
| 20 | And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us an understanding, that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life. |
| 21 | Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen. |
Do not love the world or the things in the world.
The world passes away, and its desires; but he who does the will of God abides forever.
Amen.
Acts of the Apostles
The Acts of our fathers the apostles, may their blessings be with us.
Acts 11 : 2 - 18
Chapter 11
| 2 | And when Peter came up to Jerusalem, those of the circumcision contended with him, |
| 3 | saying, "You went in to uncircumcised men and ate with them!" |
| 4 | But Peter explained it to them in order from the beginning, saying: |
| 5 | "I was in the city of Joppa praying; and in a trance I saw a vision, an object descending like a great sheet, let down from heaven by four corners; and it came to me. |
| 6 | When I observed it intently and considered, I saw four-footed animals of the earth, wild beasts, creeping things, and birds of the air. |
| 7 | And I heard a voice saying to me, "Rise, Peter; kill and eat.' |
| 8 | But I said, "Not so, Lord! For nothing common or unclean has at any time entered my mouth.' |
| 9 | But the voice answered me again from heaven, "What God has cleansed you must not call common.' |
| 10 | Now this was done three times, and all were drawn up again into heaven. |
| 11 | At that very moment, three men stood before the house where I was, having been sent to me from Caesarea. |
| 12 | Then the Spirit told me to go with them, doubting nothing. Moreover these six brethren accompanied me, and we entered the man's house. |
| 13 | And he told us how he had seen an angel standing in his house, who said to him, "Send men to Joppa, and call for Simon whose surname is Peter, |
| 14 | who will tell you words by which you and all your household will be saved.' |
| 15 | And as I began to speak, the Holy Spirit fell upon them, as upon us at the beginning. |
| 16 | Then I remembered the word of the Lord, how He said, "John indeed baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit.' |
| 17 | If therefore God gave them the same gift as He gave us when we believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I that I could withstand God?" |
| 18 | When they heard these things they became silent; and they glorified God, saying, "Then God has also granted to the Gentiles repentance to life." |
The word of the Lord shall grow, multiply, be mighty, and be confirmed, in the holy Church of God.
Amen.
Divine Psalm
Stand in the fear of God and listen to the Holy Gospel.
A reading from the Gospel according to our teacher Saint John the Evangelist.
May His Blessings be with us all. Amen.
From the Psalms of our teacher David the prophet, and the Good King.
May his blessings be with us all.
Psalms 36 : 9 - 10
Chapter 36
| 9 | For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light. |
| 10 | Oh, continue Your lovingkindness to those who know You, And Your righteousness to the upright in heart. |
Hallelujah.
Divine Gospel
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
Our Lord God, Savior, and King of us all, Jesus Christ, the Living Son of God to whom be glory forever.
Amen.
John 9 : 1 - 38
Chapter 9
| 1 | Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. |
| 2 | And His disciples asked Him, saying, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" |
| 3 | Jesus answered, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him. |
| 4 | I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work. |
| 5 | As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world." |
| 6 | When He had said these things, He spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva; and He anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay. |
| 7 | And He said to him, "Go, wash in the pool of Siloam" (which is translated, Sent). So he went and washed, and came back seeing. |
| 8 | Therefore the neighbors and those who previously had seen that he was blind said, "Is not this he who sat and begged?" |
| 9 | Some said, "This is he." Others said, "He is like him." He said, "I am he." |
| 10 | Therefore they said to him, "How were your eyes opened?" |
| 11 | He answered and said, "A Man called Jesus made clay and anointed my eyes and said to me, "Go to the pool of Siloam and wash.' So I went and washed, and I received sight." |
| 12 | Then they said to him, "Where is He?" He said, "I do not know." |
| 13 | They brought him who formerly was blind to the Pharisees. |
| 14 | Now it was a Sabbath when Jesus made the clay and opened his eyes. |
| 15 | Then the Pharisees also asked him again how he had received his sight. He said to them, "He put clay on my eyes, and I washed, and I see." |
| 16 | Therefore some of the Pharisees said, "This Man is not from God, because He does not keep the Sabbath." Others said, "How can a man who is a sinner do such signs?" And there was a division among them. |
| 17 | They said to the blind man again, "What do you say about Him because He opened your eyes?" He said, "He is a prophet." |
| 18 | But the Jews did not believe concerning him, that he had been blind and received his sight, until they called the parents of him who had received his sight. |
| 19 | And they asked them, saying, "Is this your son, who you say was born blind? How then does he now see?" |
| 20 | His parents answered them and said, "We know that this is our son, and that he was born blind; |
| 21 | but by what means he now sees we do not know, or who opened his eyes we do not know. He is of age; ask him. He will speak for himself." |
| 22 | His parents said these things because they feared the Jews, for the Jews had agreed already that if anyone confessed that He was Christ, he would be put out of the synagogue. |
| 23 | Therefore his parents said, "He is of age; ask him." |
| 24 | So they again called the man who was blind, and said to him, "Give God the glory! We know that this Man is a sinner." |
| 25 | He answered and said, "Whether He is a sinner or not I do not know. One thing I know: that though I was blind, now I see." |
| 26 | Then they said to him again, "What did He do to you? How did He open your eyes?" |
| 27 | He answered them, "I told you already, and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you also want to become His disciples?" |
| 28 | Then they reviled him and said, "You are His disciple, but we are Moses' disciples. |
| 29 | We know that God spoke to Moses; as for this fellow, we do not know where He is from." |
| 30 | The man answered and said to them, "Why, this is a marvelous thing, that you do not know where He is from; yet He has opened my eyes! |
| 31 | Now we know that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does His will, He hears him. |
| 32 | Since the world began it has been unheard of that anyone opened the eyes of one who was born blind. |
| 33 | If this Man were not from God, He could do nothing." |
| 34 | They answered and said to him, "You were completely born in sins, and are you teaching us?" And they cast him out. |
| 35 | Jesus heard that they had cast him out; and when He had found him, He said to him, "Do you believe in the Son of God?" |
| 36 | He answered and said, "Who is He, Lord, that I may believe in Him?" |
| 37 | And Jesus said to him, "You have both seen Him and it is He who is talking with you." |
| 38 | Then he said, "Lord, I believe!" And he worshiped Him. |
And Glory be to God forever.
Among human beings, who knows what pertains to a person except the spirit of the person that is within? Similarly, no one knows what pertains to God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit that is from God, so that we may understand the things freely given us by God. And we speak about them not with words taught by human wisdom, but with words taught by the Spirit, describing spiritual realities in spiritual terms. —1 Corinthians 2:11-13
If you can trust and listen to your inner divine image, your whole-making instinct, or your True Self, you will act from your best, largest, kindest, most inclusive self. I would also like to add “your most compassionately dissatisfied self” because the soul’s journey invites us to infinite depth that we can never fully plumb!
Rather than consuming spiritual gifts for yourself alone, you must receive all words of God so that you can speak them to others tenderly and with subtlety. If any thought feels too harsh, shaming, or diminishing of yourself or others, it is not likely the voice of God but the ego. Why do humans so often presume the exact opposite—that shaming voices are always from God and graced voices are always the imagination? That is a self-defeating (“demonic”?) path.
If something comes toward you with grace and can pass through you and toward others with grace, you can trust it as the voice of God. One holy man who recently came to visit me put it this way: “We must listen to what is supporting us. We must listen to what is encouraging us. We must listen to what is urging us. We must listen to what is alive in us.” I personally was so trained not to trust those voices that I often did not hear the voice of God speaking to me, or what Abraham Lincoln called the “better angels of our nature.”
Yes, a narcissistic person can misuse such advice, but someone genuinely living in love will flourish inside such a dialogue. That is the risk that God takes—and we must take—for the sake of a fruitful relationship with God. It takes so much courage and humility to trust the voice of God within. Mary personifies such trust in her momentous and free “Let it be” to the Archangel Gabriel (Luke 1:38). Don’t you suppose that Gabriel sounded just like her own mind? She never talks about such an angel again.
We must learn how to recognize the positive flow and to distinguish it from the negative resistance within ourselves. It takes years of practice. If a voice comes from accusation and leads to accusation, it is quite simply the voice of the “Accuser,” which is the literal meaning of the biblical word “Satan.” Shaming, accusing, or blaming is simply not how God talks. God is supremely nonviolent. God only cajoles, softens, and invites us into an always bigger field and it is always a unified field.
Reference:
Adapted from Richard Rohr, The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For, and Believe (Convergent: 2019), 87, 88-89.