I don't know. I don't know! That has to be one of the hardest phrases for us to use. But when thinking about God and his ways, that's really all we can say. What we know about God is only what he in his grace has chosen to reveal to us. He is the Mystery of mysteries. He is the supreme knowable Unknown. Yet what we do know of him, what he has revealed to us in Jesus, is not only mighty and awesome, but loving and merciful.

Day 14 of the Blessed Coptic Month of Bashans, may God make it always received, year after year, with reassurance and tranquility, while our sins after forgiven by the tender mercies of our God my fathers and brothers.
Amen.

The Fourteenth Day of the Blessed Month of Bashans

Departure of St.Pachomius (Pakhom), the Father of the Spiritual Communal Monastic Life (Cenobitic Life)

      On this day, of the year 64 A.M. (348 A.D.), Abba Pachomius, the father of the spiritual communal life (Cenobitic life), departed. He was born in Thebes (Luxor) from pagan parents, who forced him to worship idols. He rejected and mocked this worship, then became a monk with St.Balamon (Palaemon). He lived in submission to him for many years, and he mastered well the ways of the monastic life. Then the angel of the Lord appeared to him and commanded him to establish a communal and holy monastic life. Many monks gathered together to him, and he built for them many monasteries and established for them a system of manual labor, the times of prayers, and eating. He was the father of them all, with an Abbot in every monastery. He visited all the monasteries, from Aswan to Edfu to Donasa to the end of Upper Egypt to the north. He did not permit any one of his sons to become a priest for the sake of the vainglory of this world, and not to overlook the purpose of their monastic life of worship by being away from the world. He invited a priest from outside for each monastery to officiate the Divine Liturgy. When Pope Athanasius wanted to ordain him a priest, he fled from him. St. Athanasius asked his disciples to tell him that he who built his house on the rock that can not be shaken, and fled from the vainglory of the world, is blessed, and his disciples are also blessed. He desired once to see Hades, and he saw in a night vision the habitation of the sinners and places of torment. He remained the father of the Cenobites for forty years. When the time of his departure drew near, he called the monks, strengthened their faith, and appointed someone to take over his place after him, then departed in peace.

May his prayers be with us. Amen.

Martyrdom of St.Epimachus (Ephimachus) of Pelusium

      On this day also, St. Epimachus was martyred. He was born in Pelusium (Farma). He was a weaver along with his two companions: Theodore and Callinicos. When he heard that "Youlamis" the governor of Egypt, had come to torture the Christians, he preached his friends explaining the vainglory of this world, then he bade them farewell and went to El-Bakroug, which was near Demera. He came to the Governor who was torturing a woman, and then threw her in a furnace. The fiery furnace became like cool dew to her. The Governor then took her out of the furnace and cut off her head. When Epimachus saw that, he came before the Governor, and confessed the Lord Christ, to Him is the glory. The Governor tortured him severely. He was twenty-seven years old. Then he ordered him to be squeezed on the wheel, and a drop of his blood splashed on the eyes of a blind maiden, and right away she was able to see. Her family believed in the Lord Christ. They were all martyred and received the crown of martyrdom. The Governor became angry and ordered him to be crucified, and then his head to be cut off. The executioner drew his sword but his strength failed and was unable to raise his sword. The same thing happened when another executioner tried and so with fourteen other executioners. When they failed to cut off his head, they tied a rope around his neck and dragged him until he delivered his soul into the hand of the Lord and received the crown of martyrdom. One of the soldiers, who was deaf and dumb, carried the body to cast it away. When he touched the body, instantly he heard and spoke. Some of the believers from the city of Edku came and took the body and many signs and wonders took place from it. When the people from Demera came to console his family and saw the signs and wonders which were revealed through him, they believed and were baptized. They numbered one thousand, seven-hundred and fifty, men, women, and children. His kinsfolk carried him to El-Barmoun with great honor. The Governor of El-Barmoun shrouded him with expensive shrouds from his own money and they built a church after his name.

May his prayers be with us and glory be to God forever. Amen.

The work of the Holy Spirit in our lives is to reveal to us the truth of our being so that the way of our being can match it. —Wm. Paul Young [1]

The love in you—which is the Spirit in you—always somehow says yes. (See 2 Corinthians 1:20.) Love is not something you do; love is something you are. It is your True Self. Love is where you came from and love is where you’re going. It’s not something you can buy. It’s not something you can attain. It’s the presence of God within you, called the Holy Spirit or what some theologians name uncreated grace.

You can’t manufacture this by any right conduct, dear reader. You can’t make God love you one ounce more than God already loves you right now. You can go to church every day for the rest of your life. God isn’t going to love you any more than God loves you right now.

You cannot make God love you any less, either—not an ounce less. Do the most terrible thing and God wouldn’t love you less. You cannot change the Divine mind about you! The flow is constant, total, and 100 percent toward your life. God is for you.

We can’t diminish God’s love for us. What we can do, however, is learn how to believe it, receive it, trust it, allow it, and celebrate it, accepting Trinity’s whirling invitation to join in the cosmic dance.

St. Bernard of Clairvaux (c. 1090–1153) wrote, “Inasmuch as the soul becomes unlike God, so it becomes unlike itself.” [2] Bernard has, of course, come to the same thing I’m trying to say here: the pattern within the Trinity is the same as the pattern in all creation. And when you return to this same pattern, the flow will be identical.

Catherine LaCugna (1952–1997) ended her giant theological tome God for Us with this one simple sentence:

The very nature of God, therefore, is to seek out the deepest possible communion and friendship with every last creature on this earth. [3]

That’s God’s job description. That’s what it’s all about. And the only thing that can keep you out of this divine dance is fear or self-hatred. What would happen in your life—right now—if you fully accepted what God has created?

Suddenly, this is a very safe universe. You have nothing to be afraid of. God is for you. God is leaping toward you! God is on your side, honestly more than you are on your own.

References:
[1] Wm. Paul Young, Trinity: The Soul of Creation, session 7 (Center for Action and Contemplation: 2017), MP4 download.

[2] Bernard of Clairvaux, Sermons on the Song of Songs, 82.5. This translation is from William Harmless, Mystics, (Oxford University Press: 2008), 55.

[3] Catherine Mowry LaCugna, God for Us: The Trinity and Christian Life (HarperSanFrancisco: 1993), 411.